How to Explain Suicide to a Child or Teen

How to explain suicide to a child or teen, whether reactively (if they ask about suicide or in response to someone dying by suicide) or proactively (before the topic comes up), should shift based on their age. But some key ideas should stay the same:

• Be honest, but not graphic. Use clear, simple language. If you’re talking about a real-life situation where someone died by suicide, avoid details about how it happened.
• Normalize and validate their feelings. Let them feel whatever they feel. Any emotion is OK.
• Create space for them to ask questions. Kids may ask the same question repeatedly or have more questions once they’ve processed a conversation or situation.
• Use nonjudgmental language. Focus on illness, pain and help, not blame or shame. Helpful terms:
  • Suicide meaning: When a person hurts themselves on purpose and dies because they wanted to end their life.
    • Say: “Died by suicide” or “ended their life.”
    • Avoid saying:
      • “Committed suicide” or “completed suicide,” as these phrases only contribute to stigma and have negative associations.
      • “Unalived themselves,” a term often used on social media to get around filters for sensitive content, as it can make suicide seem less serious or harder to understand.
  • Suicide attempt meaning: When someone hurts themselves with the intention of ending their life but does not die.
  • Suicidal ideation meaning: When someone thinks about suicide, which may also include considering or planning suicide.
• Reassure them. If someone dies by suicide, reassure them that it wasn’t their fault.
• Get help if needed. If you’re concerned for your child, don’t hesitate to call or text the 988 Lifeline, or reach out to their pediatrician or a mental health professional.

At this age, keep conversations about suicide reactive—only bring it up if your child asks or if someone in their life dies. Focus on simple, clear language, and reassure them they’re safe and not at fault.

If they ask, “What is suicide?”:

• “Suicide is when a person hurts their own body so badly that their body stops working and they die.”

If someone dies by suicide:

• “I want to tell you something very sad. Uncle Sam died. He hurt himself, and his body stopped working. He can’t come back. His brain was sick and made him feel very sad and confused.”

Offer reassurance:

• “You didn’t cause this.”
• "When people feel very sad, grown-ups can help them. We always tell other grown-ups if we feel bad.”
• “You’re safe. I’m here and other grown-ups are here to take care of you.”

At this age, have conversations about suicide only in response to kids’ questions or real-life events. Focus on clear, honest and simple explanations. Reassure them that they’re safe, and make space for their questions. You can also start to gently introduce that overwhelming feelings or mental illness can be part of what leads to suicide.

If they ask, “What is suicide?”:

• “When someone dies by suicide, it means they hurt their own body so much that it stopped working. Usually their brain is very sick, like when the rest of the body gets sick, and it tells them that there’s no other way to stop their pain, even though help was possible.”

Offer reassurance:

• “There are many people who help keep us safe, like doctors, counselors, teachers, friends and family.”
• “If you ever feel so sad or mad that you think about hurting yourself, you can tell me or another grown-up. You will not get in trouble.”

Kids at this age may start to hear about suicide at school, online or in the media. This is a great time to be proactive. You can define suicide, talk with them about depression and mental illness, and teach them how to ask for help and respond to others.

Explain suicide clearly:

• “Suicide is when a person ends their own life. Most of the time, they’re struggling with depression or another mental illness. Depression can make people feel like things will never get better, even when that isn’t true.”

If someone dies by suicide:

• “Your friend died by suicide. That means they ended their own life. They were in a lot of pain, and their brain illness made it hard for them to see other options.”
• “This isn’t your fault. Even if you had a fight or didn’t answer a text, one thing doesn’t cause suicide.”

Teach them how to respond to their friends:

• “If a friend says they want to die, or ‘I hate my life,’ or they’re planning to hurt themselves, tell an adult right away, even if your friend says not to. It’s not tattling. It’s keeping them safe.”

Offer reassurance:

• “You can always talk to me about anything. You won’t get in trouble.”

Chances are, teens already know about suicide through social media, news or their peers. Try to get ahead of misinformation with direct, ongoing conversations that normalize talking about suicide as a health issue. It’s also important to talk about social media, bullying and how teens can support their friends while still involving trusted adults.

Explain suicide and context:

• “You’ve probably heard about suicide at school or online. I want you to have the facts. Suicide often happens when someone feels deep emotional pain and believes there’s no way out.”

Encourage open conversation:

• “If you ever feel like hurting yourself, you can tell me. I won’t freak out or be mad. I’ll help you get support.”
• “Thoughts like ‘I hate my life’ can happen when we’re overwhelmed and need help.”

Address social media, peer support and more resources:

• “If you see posts about suicide or someone sends you a goodbye message, tell an adult right away. Screenshots can help us understand what’s going on.”
• “You are not responsible for saving anyone. Your job is to get adults involved.”
• “If you’re ever struggling, you can always call or text the 988 Lifeline any time to talk to someone.”

Older teens can understand complex mental health issues but may be more private and less likely to share when they’re struggling. Rather than waiting for something to come up, have regular, open conversations, and emphasize healthy ways to cope with their feelings and helpful resources.

Start the conversation:

• “Suicide is a serious issue, especially for teens. I want us to be able to talk about it.”

Talk about risk:

• “Things like depression, anxiety, drug and alcohol use, trauma, bullying, harassment based on gender identity or sexual orientation, and feeling alone can increase the risk of suicide.”

Invite honesty:

• “Have you or your friends ever had thoughts about not wanting to be alive or hurting yourselves?”
• If they say, “Yes”: “Thank you for telling me. Let’s figure out how to get support.”
• If they say, “No”: “OK, well just know that I’m always here. If anything ever comes up, you can always talk to me about anything.”

Discuss coping and help:

• “Everyone needs a plan for hard moments, like who to text or call, where to go, and what helps.”
• “Therapy, medication, crisis lines like the 988 Lifeline, school counselors, trusted adults—these can all be helpful tools, and using them doesn’t mean you’re weak.”

Talk about responsibility and limits:

• “If I ever believe your safety is at risk, I will keep you safe, even if that means involving professionals. I’d rather you be mad at me and alive.”
• “You’re such a good friend, and I’m glad your friend trusts you. But it’s adults’ responsibility to keep kids safe. We need to let a trusted adult know your friend is thinking of suicide. Would you like me to make that call, or do you want to call with me?”

These conversations may not be easy, and you won’t always know what to say. What matters most is showing your child that no topic is off-limits and that they can come to you with their big feelings, hard questions and any concerns.

Take any thoughts of suicide seriously. Call or text the 988 Lifeline if you or a loved one is experiencing thoughts of suicide, self-harm or any mental health crisis.