Questions to Ask Before Someone Drives Your Child

Car safety isn’t always easy to bring up with other caregivers. If you’re not sure how to start the conversation, our CHECK guide can help. Use it as a simple car seat safety check to ask questions, share expectations and prepare for a safe ride.

Create a routine:

Make a routine of asking safety questions every time you leave your child in someone else’s care.

Have a respectful opening:

Ask for the other person’s permission before jumping into safety questions.

Explain why you’re asking:

Make it about your family or your child’s safety, not the other person.

Be clear:

Ask direct questions about safety, and avoid making assumptions or passing judgment.

Kindly say “thank you”:

End the conversation with a sincere thank you.

A few questions can help you better understand how your child will travel and what safety measures will be in place. Focus on the questions that make the most sense for your child and the situation.

The driver

• Who will be driving, and are they currently licensed?
• Where are they going, and how long will the drive take?
• Will anyone else be driving?
• Will there be other passengers in the car?
• If a teen will be driving, how much driving experience do they have, and are there any state laws for teen drivers that apply?
• Will the driver limit distractions, like using a phone, while driving?

Car seats, booster seats and seat belts

• Is an appropriate car seat or booster seat available?
• Is the driver comfortable installing and buckling the child into the car seat or booster seat?
• Will the child have their own seat and seat belt?
• If the child is younger than 13, will they ride in the backseat?

Once you’ve learned about the situation, share your family’s car safety expectations. Together, your questions and expectations can help everyone stay on the same page before the ride.

Car safety

• Use the right car seat, booster seat or seat belt for the child’s height, weight and age.
• Buckle the child correctly before the car starts moving. If you’re unsure how to install a car seat or use it correctly, schedule a car seat safety check with a child passenger safety technician.
• Keep kids in the backseat until at least age 13. Some state laws allow kids to ride in the front seat earlier, but healthcare providers and injury prevention experts recommend waiting until they’re at least 13.
• Stay off phones and focus on the road while driving.
• Keep noise and other distractions in the car to a minimum.
• Never drive after drinking alcohol or using drugs or medications that can affect driving.
• Never leave a child (or anyone else, pets included) alone in the car.
• Before you get out of the car, always check the backseat to make sure nobody is left behind.
• Always lock the car after everyone is out, and store keys where kids and teens can’t access them.

Communication

• Let the parent or caregiver know beforehand if plans change or if someone else will be driving.
• Ask questions if you’re not sure how to install a car seat or booster seat, or how to buckle a child into a car seat or booster seat.

Need help getting the conversation started? Whether in person, over the phone or via text, here’s a script that you can customize next time someone else will be driving your child:

“Thanks so much for offering to drive Zoe tomorrow! Before the ride, can I ask a few quick car safety questions? I check in with everyone who drives her just to make sure we’re on the same page.”

After the conversation, think about whether you feel comfortable with the plan and if it works for your family. Then decide how to move forward:

• Say yes: You ask your questions, feel comfortable with their answers and move forward with the plan. 
• Ask for a change: Maybe it’s asking the driver to use your child’s own car seat or showing them how to correctly buckle it.
• Politely say no: If something doesn’t feel right, it’s OK to make a different plan or decide not to move forward.

If your child has an injury or is showing signs of illness, call your doctor or visit an urgent care center. If your child has a life-threatening injury or illness, is having trouble breathing or is unconscious, call 911 and/or visit an emergency department immediately.