Talking to Caregivers About Safe Sleep for Infants

Talking about safety with another caregiver can feel delicate, especially when they have their own experience caring for babies. Our CHECK conversation guide can help you ask questions, share expectations and keep the conversation focused on safety:

Create a routine: Make a routine of asking safety questions every time you leave your child in someone else’s care.

Have a respectful opening: Ask for the other person’s permission before jumping into safety questions.

Explain why you’re asking: Make it about your family or your child’s safety, not the other person.

Be clear: Ask direct questions about safety, and avoid making assumptions or passing judgment.

Kindly say “thank you”: End the conversation with a sincere thank you.

There may be times when your baby is in someone else’s care outside of your home, like at grandma’s house or an early care center. Asking questions about the sleep environment can help you understand whether it follows current recommendations for safe sleep for infants:

• Where will the baby sleep?
• What’s the sleep space like?
• Are there any loose items in the sleep space, like blankets, pillows or stuffed animals, or any crib accessories, like crib bumpers or sleep positioners?
• Will anyone else be sleeping in the room with the baby?
• Will anyone else be sleeping in the same sleep space as the baby?
• Who will be putting the baby down to sleep?
• Will a baby monitor be set up and at least 3 feet away from any part of the baby’s sleep space?

Whether your baby is sleeping at home or somewhere else, sharing your safe sleep expectations with whoever is caring for your baby can help everyone provide the same safe care for naps and bedtime:

• Put babies to sleep in their own sleep space (i.e., crib, bassinet, travel crib).
• Place babies to sleep on their back. If they roll over on their own, don’t worry about flipping them back over.
• Keep the sleep space clear of all loose items, including blankets, pillows, bottles, stuffed animals, bibs and loose burp cloths. All they need is a firm, flat mattress and a fitted sheet. A pacifier is OK.
• Dress babies lightly for sleep. If you’re worried about them getting cold, use a sleep sack instead of a blanket.
• Don’t let babies sleep anywhere other than their own safe sleep space (i.e., not on a sleeping adult’s chest and not on a couch or in a swing, bouncer or car seat outside of its base).
• It’s OK if babies spit up in their sleep—their gag reflexes naturally protect them. Don’t put them at an incline or on their side for sleep.
• Unless prescribed, don’t give baby anything other than breastmilk or infant formula before bed.
• Keep the baby monitor on with the volume up if babies are sleeping in a space away from parents or caregivers (i.e., not room sharing). Make sure the baby monitor is at least 3 feet away from any part of the baby’s sleep space, and never attach it to the inside of the crib or on the rim or rungs.

Need help getting the conversation started? Here’s a safe sleep script that you can customize next time your baby is in someone else’s care:  

“Thanks so much for watching Axel tomorrow! Can I share our safe sleep routine? I make a point to talk through it with anyone who puts him down for sleep. I’d also love to ask a couple of questions about where he’ll be sleeping so we’re on the same page.”

If you learn something that concerns you, it’s OK to ask for a change or make other plans:

• Ask for a change: Maybe it’s working with the caregiver to create a safe sleep setup that aligns with your expectations. For example, you might provide your own travel crib or sleep sack.
• Make other plans: If you’re uncomfortable with any aspect of your baby’s care, listen to your gut and make other child care arrangements. While that isn’t always easy, especially if you’re worried about offending the caregiver or if child care options are limited, your baby’s safety comes first.

If your child has an injury or is showing signs of illness, call your doctor or visit an urgent care center. If your child has a life-threatening injury or illness, is having trouble breathing or is unconscious, call 911 and/or visit an emergency department immediately.